My fingers squish in the avocado, over the cream cheese, under the lox. I stare at what I'm holding because I can't believe that it's actually there. 'Crusty bread' was the number one food named among my Western coworkers in Indonesia as the food they missed most. Does a toasted garlic and onion bagel count?

Yes.

I think about a flooding Makassar and its rice field puzzle pieces overflowing into each other. When I see something beautiful I stare, entranced, while the back of my mind throbs something dull about a camera. Nobody will ever see the most beautiful sights I've seen because I have never taken a picture when I'm thoroughly spellbound. Maybe, in someone's worldview somewhere, that's good. I guess it is in mine.

What should I be in my free time, a writer or a musician? My perenially cheesy lyrics point me back to writing, even though I'm never happier than when I sing, but then I realize I have way, way too much to write about, and way, way too much of it is about me, me, me, and I am bored with me.
Should I continue this blog even though I am no longer anywhere exotic, and it may be in danger of becoming an 'what i ate today omg lol' blog? Or should I retreat back to my old high school haunt, http://singingcamel.diaryland.com, even though, shit, I cringe every time I hit the random button and see what kind of absolute word-vomit came out of the tips of my fingers in high school, and even college? Take a vote in the comments. Please. I need guidance.